From an early age, Alan Brough wanted to be a writer. Then he decided that he really wanted to be an actor. But there wasn’t much work for a 6 foot 4 inch guy with a slightly lopsided face and thick curly hair so Alan tried broadcasting, dancing (true!), singing, and being a professional music nerd. Recently, he got around to being a writer. One day he hopes to have a bio that includes phrases like ‘so successful he recently bought a solid gold toilet’ but for now he’s happy to look at Charlie and The War Against the Grannies and think, ‘Cool! I wrote a book!’

Charlie didn’t want Mrs Cyclopolos to explode. He just wanted a paper round.