Stones of panic rattling in her chest … that is how Gunn describes how she felt when being stalked by the person she simply identifies as The Man.
The Scottish-born poet has written a valuable and disturbing memoir of what it was like being stalked in Adelaide, where she, her partner and children had moved. But this is much, much more than just an account of that stalking. Gunn has delved deeper, seeking opinions and facts from other writers and academics about the prevalence of stalking, and misogyny in general, and candidly reliving other distressing incidents she had experienced of domestic abuse, unwanted advances on trains, and even rape.
While women have been known to stalk their targets, it is the behaviour of men that Gunn targets, particular that of The Man, who first approached her at an auction house, sent unwanted emails, intercepted her at her son’s school, sat in her favourite café, and generally unnerved her.
Gunn found that while police were sympathetic when she reported the stalking and how fearful it had made her, there was little they could do unless The Man actually committed a crime.
Between chapters, Gunn has written glorious, boldly poetic snippets, all starting with ‘because’. For example, ‘because he knows my daily routine, because he’s a cyclist, because he knows I’m vegetarian, because he might have been following me for weeks … because of all the not-famous women who don’t appear in the media, who get killed for saying the wrong thing, for being in the wrong place, because tiny stones of panic, inside all of us, rattling, rattling, rattling.’
She rails against the patriarchy which has taught women to be polite, being taught as girls that, unlike boys, being a nice person is more important than being respected. She writes that the most shocking thing about what she has related is that it is not unusual or extraordinary, because that is what ordinary life looks like for a woman.
It’s powerful stuff, and recommended reading for men as well as women.
Reviewed by Jennifer Somerville
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