How refreshing it is to find a Buddhist monk who has trouble meditating. Björn Lindeblad is a Swedish ex-businessman who spent 17 years in various Buddhist forest monasteries trying to still the chaos of his own mind. Lindeblad began a career in economics. He was immediately successful, but found it amounted to an empty existence.

He quit, enrolled in a month-long meditation retreat and quit that after four days. One thing he took from the retreat was the importance of breathing: simultaneously simple and powerful. He needed to pursue stillness of the mind further, so began his journey as a forest monk in northern Thailand.

His take on the mind is sparkling: he describes it as an ‘inner monkey circus’; and consequently ‘only dead people have quiet minds’. He has problems with ‘mindfulness’, as he believes the goal is to empty, rather than fill the mind. There is a great emphasis on the letting go of baggage, but also the realisation that the attempts will fail 90 per cent of the time.

Short chapters detail his journey from novice to monk to teacher (Ajahn) and the spare quotidian tasks monks must perform every day (early starts, one meal per day from food donated by villagers, physical labour, meditation and abstinence). The title comes from the lecture of a mentor teaching the monks how to de-escalate conflict.

Lindeblad’s journey as a monk takes him to England, Sweden and to hosting retreats himself. All such journeys must end, however, and health concerns force him to ‘disrobe’. His next journey is with declining health, faced head-on with a loving partner, Elizabeth.

I May be Wrong is an inspiring narrative written with wisdom infused with quiet humility.

Reviewed by Bob Moore

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

BJÖRN NATTHIKO LINDEBLAD joined Wat Pah Nanachat, a poor forest monastery in northeastern Thailand, and became a monk named Natthiko Bhikkhu. In 1975 Ajahn Chah established Wat Pah Nanachat (The International Forest Monastery) in order to give young men from foreign countries, who do not know Thai language and culture, the possibility of becoming a well-trained Theravadin Buddhist forest monk.

The first step to becoming a monk in Wat Pah Nanachat is to take on the homeless life, committing oneself to the Eight Precepts (abstaining from killing, stealing, sexual activity, telling lies, intoxicating drinks and drugs, eating after noon, entertainment and beautifying the body, and from using luxurious furniture) as an ‘anagarika’ for about half a year. If the resident community feels it is appropriate, an anagarika can then request ‘pabbaja’ – the ‘Going Forth’ as a Buddhist novice, a ‘Samaner’. In addition to the anagarika precepts, a Samenera renounces money and becomes an alms-mendicant, clad in the ochre robes of the Buddhist monastic order, the ‘Sangha’. You can apply for a meditation retreat at Wat Pah Nanachat but you are required to have experience with meditation before applying. Resident lay guests in Wat Pah Nanachat wear traditional Thai lay monastic attire: loose white and long trousers with a white shirt for men, and a white blouse and long black skirt for women. Men staying longer than one week are asked to shave their heads, beards and eyebrows.