To watch someone you care about fighting an eating disorder is to have your heart torn apart little by little each and every day. You want to help them; you desperately want them to help themselves.

To be the one experiencing that disorder must be terrifying. John Schu knows this better than most. He spent almost two years in therapy for his own eating disorder. This novel details the protagonist, Jake’s, journey. It’s fiction, but unashamedly autobiographical. The result is honest and emotionally impactful.

The narrative is written as a diary, with days represented mostly in poetry, with dialogue in prose. The poems are in concrete form, usually with lines of just single words hugging the left edge of the page. Each poem looks long and thin – mirroring Jake’s physical representation.

The title relates to his antagonist: the overpoweringly negative inner voice, which tells Jake that he’s obscenely fat, disgusting to look at, and doesn’t deserve to eat. Jake’s problems began in seventh grade, after being bullied.

While Jake clashes with his parents, he has a strong bond with his grandmother with the two sharing a love of television shows and musical theatre. When he’s placed as an inpatient into a specialist clinic, he refuses to engage with either staff or other patients. His journey is long and complicated – this is no easy fix. His situation worsens when his grandmother becomes ill. Her letter to him is a catalyst for a change in attitude. He begins to interact with another patient, Kella, and with art therapy. His creative talents open a pathway for his return to health.

This is outstanding writing and necessary reading.

Reviewed by Bob Moore

Age Guide 12+

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Schu has made a career out of advocating for the people and things he cares about most: kids, books, and the people that connect them. He was named a Library Journal Mover and Shaker for his dynamic interactions with students and his passionate adoption of new technologies as a means of connecting authors, illustrators, books, and readers. He is the children’s librarian for Bookelicious, a part-time lecturer at Rutgers University, and shares his love of reading with countless educators and students around the world. He served as the Ambassador of School Libraries for Scholastic Book Fairs for almost 6 years.

He is the author of This Is a School (Candlewick Press, 2022) illustrated by Veronica Miller Jamison, This Is a Story (Candlewick Press, 2023) illustrated by Caldecott Honor artist Lauren Castillo, Louder Than Hunger (Candlewick, 2024) and The Gift of Story: Exploring the Affective Side of the Reading Life (Stenhouse, 2022). He is a contributor to The Creativity Project (Little, Brown, 2018), edited by Colby Sharp. John Schu lives in Naperville, Illinois.

Visit John Schu’s website