This is an intense memoir of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness in the United Kingdom. Ali Millar paints a disturbing picture of a cult that controls every aspect of its members’ lives and the cruel consequences of what happens when its members don’t conform.
Ali draws us into the story with her observations as a young child – innocently witnessing her mother’s behaviour and how she is drawn in to become a Jehovah Witness. As a single, abandoned mother with two children we learn how the Jehovah’s Witness religion offered a supportive community and a refuge, promising enormous rewards for those who were willing to sacrifice their ‘worldly’ ways and devote themselves to Jehovah. Growing up, Ali continually questions this world and becomes increasingly anxious and depressed. She decides that limiting food is a way she can control her life and very soon she begins binge drinking and experimenting with sex. Her eventual diagnosis of anorexia is no surprise, but the inhuman way it’s dealt with by the Jehovah’s community, is cruel.
I found the memoir very difficult and painful to read; from Ali’s tumultuous teenage years to her marriage and birth of her daughter. Particularly disturbing was the Elders’ misogynistic and voyeuristic control over relationships and marriage.
The heart of the memoir exposes our need to belong; to be loved by your mother and accepted by your community and society.
Reviewed by Karen Williams
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Her debut, The Last Days: A memoir of faith, desire and freedom was published in 2022. Heralded as ‘a dam burst of a book marking the arrival of a major literary talent’, It was a Guardian Book of the Year, a Bookseller Editor’s Choice and a Scotsman One to Watch.
As journalist, her work has appeared in The Guardian, The Stylist, The Sunday Times and . She has been profiled by The Sunday Times, The Sunday Post and appeared on the BBC World Service, NBC National Australia, Times Radio, and Talk TV. She has read and appeared at festivals and events including Edinburgh International Book Festival, Wigtown Book Festival and Camp Good Life, as well as across digital platforms on podcast, blogs and Youtube channels.
Additionally, as broadcast journalist she has interviewed numerous authors including Rachel Cusk, Amy Liptrot, Etgar Keret and Marina Warner. As event chair she has interviewed at Edinburgh International Book Festival, Camp Good Life and The Social.
A strong proponent for freedom of speech, she is part of Scottish PEN’s women’s committee.
She has an MA with distinction in Creative Writing from Edinburgh Napier University where she graduated with the class medal. She has a background in textiles and design, with a BSc (Hons) 1st class in Textiles.









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