We all remember that stifling rule of verbal conduct imparted to us as children – If you can’t say something nice about someone, then don’t say anything at all. Thankfully, however, not one of the hundreds of contributors to this collection of put-downs, invective and curses ever took it seriously. And, as a result, the world is a much funnier – if somewhat more spiteful – place.

The collection’s editor, Matthew Parris, was once a Conservative member of parliament in the UK but is now better known as a journalist, pundit and prolific author of books on politics and travel. First published in 1994, Scorn has since undergone several updates. The remarks cover topics such as places, nations, religion, race, royalty, politicians, writers, critics, artists, music, lawyers, age and more.

As the subtitle of the book states, these insults are witty and wicked. But that doesn’t mean that both descriptors necessarily apply to each insult. Some are undoubtedly wicked but lack wit, such as Silvio Berlusconi’s description of Angela Merkel as an ‘unf***able lard-arse’. It’s still worth including though, on account of the peek it offers into the mind of the former Italian prime minister. Others lack spite but are insightful, such as when political theorist Hannah Arendt said, ‘The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative on the day after the revolution.’

Most of the quotes are short, but what also makes this collection highly readable is its clever organisation that occasionally sets up a kind of conversation between the vilifiers. At one point we read of Johnny Depp’s put-down of the ruddy-faced Barnaby Joyce as looking like a cross-breed between a human and a tomato; we then get to read what Joyce thinks of the movie star in the wake of the Pistol and Boo imbroglio.

Sometimes the conversations are not direct exchanges between the insulter and their target, as when British journalist Piers Morgan refers to actor Rupert Everett as a ‘ghastly simpering thespian toad’. We don’t get to hear a response from Everett, but notables such as Stephen Fry and Tony Blair swing their verbal cudgels in the direction of Piers Morgan, respectively calling for his murder and describing him as a slug.

The injunction to keep our gobs shut if we feel the impulse to criticise someone might keep us out of trouble, but it can also make us chronic spouters of anodyne lies. This book is a testament to the stinging power of the perfectly crafted put-down and the purging sense of cathartic satisfaction that it offers.