There are two images that stay in the mind after reading this memoir. One is the 120 kg author, only 1.5m tall, dancing joyously burlesque-style at a writers’ festival in a G-string and blue pasties with tassels. The other is of Kneen swimming in the warm waters of Vanuatu, held to the chest of a dugong by his flippers. She left the water knowing the creature had identified her as something like itself, a great blubbery thing of the ocean. The author felt, for the first time, exactly the right size and shape. It should be noted here that Kneen identifies as bisexual and queer, and by the memoir’s end, was not sure about being a ‘woman’. She wrote that she does not care what pronouns are used, being happier just to be called by her name.
Fat Girl Dancing is about her self-image. Kneen had started writing a book exploring the idea of fatness, but not looking directly at her own body. Instead, she read books and scientific papers and did interviews, eventually realising she needed to take an unflinching look at herself. This she does, recalling her strength as a chubby child, excelling at discus and shot-put, until bullied about her size. As a teenager she starved herself to become slim. Now in her mid-50s, after trying all the yo-yo diets, Kneen is in fine health, but takes a clear-eyed view of her fatness.
Kneen documents diving classes, blood pressure cuffs that leave bruises, a naked midwinter solstice swim in Tasmania, as well as tuition in burlesque dancing. In accounts familiar to other fat people, this memoir details trying to find a wetsuit that fits, dresses that flatter, and walking gear, particularly boots, that can be worn in comfort. Most importantly, Kneen faces her body by painting and drawing it, in an effort to stop hating it.
Reviewed by Jennifer Somerville
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