KATIE ROSE is a meditation and yoga teacher of 25 years, mother of five and Founder of Bhakti Rose.
In her book, Trust Life, Trust Yourself, Find Peace she draws on modern psychology as well as elements of ancient philosophy and yogic wisdom.
In this extract Katie tells us how she can help you to learn to trust yourself, every step of the way.
I want you to read this book and come away with actionable steps that you implement in your life. It’s easy to be inspired by words on a page but do nothing with them once you put the book down. With that in mind, I’ve created a six-part framework, each containing five affirmations, to help you cultivate trust in your life. Whatever it is you’re dealing with right now that leads you to feeling stuck or fearful, this framework will help you step towards shifting that stagnant energy and taking action.
To work with the framework, make time for it. For me, the morning is my best time for ‘thinking’ and doing this kind of personal-development work. The mind is more of a blank slate. I love to make myself a cup of tea, light a candle, diffuse some essential oils and sit up in bed with my journal to reflect. Find a routine that works for you and whatever that is, make sure you carve out some quiet alone time that has a feeling of ceremony and ritual about it. This will support you to go deep and you’ll get much more profound results.
Allow yourself to feel deeply during this time. If you cry or feel angry or sad, that’s okay. It’s healthy to make time and space for strong feelings and work with them. In fact, it’s part of the journey of building trust because it will help you to trust that your feelings are not to be feared or pushed away. Trusting yourself to feel (instead of numbing out) is a very important part of this process.
Building Trust: a framework
Start by using this framework as a series of journalling prompts. Take a moment now to think of an area in your life where you feel stuck. Keeping that in mind, remember that journalling is a process of discovery leading to action, but you can’t act until you’re clear about the outcomes you’re working towards.
- Notice and name the area of tension or friction. Be as specific as possible. (For example: I can’t tell my boss I want to leave my job and become self-employed because they rely on me. I’ll just stay in the job, even though I dream of starting my own business. I don’t trust my own judgement in wanting to leave and I don’t trust that being self-employed will work out for me.)
- Notice what is happening in your body when you imagine various courses of action or elements of the scenario unfolding. Be as specific as possible. (For example: what happens in your body when you imagine telling your boss you’re leaving? What happens in your body when you imagine being self-employed?)
- Get crystal clear on what the area of challenge is. What is it specifically that you’re nervous about? By naming the demons, they become less powerful.
- Take action without taking action. This is a really powerful part of the Building Trust framework process. Here, we start playing with the energy of trust. You’re going to take action without making it public or following through so that you can see how it lands in your nervous system.Here are a few examples of this in practice. You might write a letter of resignation from your job but not send it. You might practise a breakup conversation in the mirror. You might fill in an application for a job you really want, but not submit it. Alternatively, sometimes in this phase we can practise exposing ourselves to a situation we think we want in order to see if it’s really for us. Always dreamed of being a pilot? Book a day of flying as a special treat to yourself. Interested in starting a side hustle as a photographer? Ask your favourite photographer if you can shadow them for a shoot.
Do the hard or scary thing privately without consequences. Think of it as a retractable test run. Don’t splash it all over social media. Again, notice what’s happening in your body, especially your nervous system, when you imagine sending that letter or when you actually get behind the controls of that plane. At this stage, you’re just observing and getting curious about how this course of action leaves you feeling. You’re building trust in yourself because your nervous system is adjusting, so you need to take small steps to avoid creating lots of adrenaline or ‘shocks’ in your system. This is a sustainable and skilful way of preparing to step out of your comfort zone.
- Do some energy work. Send yourself healing and loving-kindness or work with an energy healer. Connect with Source or a Higher Power for guidance (more on this is coming later). The idea here is we don’t take actions that create shocks and tension in the nervous system, because that won’t lead to deeper self-trust. Bring your energy body in alignment with your physical body and your heart’s desires.
- Choose intelligent action and step into it. Intelligent action might mean doing the thing or not doing the thing, depending on the feedback you got from your mind, physical body and energy body as you experimented. For example, you might choose to resign from your job or you might make the considered choice not to. Action might happen in incremental steps and doesn’t always have to feel radical. With the help of prayer and practice, over time we can work though very sticky, deeply rooted problems that previously seemed insurmountable. Piece by piece, moment by moment, we step deeper into trust. This is how trust in yourself and trust in life are cultivated.
I recommend that you come back to this framework often as you work on developing trust in yourself and trust in life. It’s designed to be repeated over and over again as you uplevel the quality of your decision-making and choices.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Katie was the manager of the prestigious TriYoga centre in London before moving to Sydney and opening Samadhi Yoga in 2004 followed by Jivamukti Yoga Sydney which at its peak was a four-studio business and is still a thriving community today.
Her popular online courses have helped hundreds of women from all over the world in empower themselves. Much of Katie’s work focuses on the Australian seasons, landscape and Indigenous culture and she has a keen passion for respecting First Nation’s wisdom as well as animal rights and the environment. Katie has spent many years studying in India, the UK, America and Australia.
She is the founder and host of the annual Bhakti Women’s Online Yoga Summit and the author of several internationally available books including ‘Mindful Living’ and ‘The Yoga of Birth’. Most recently she authored ‘Trust Life, Trust Yourself, Find Peace’ (published by Affirm Press).
Katie helps women go from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to living a life that is vibrant, creative and abundant. She lives in Sydney, Australia with her partner and her five children in a loud and busy household where her meditation practice keeps her sane!