SHAY LEIGHTON is a social activist, community organiser and creator of Tough Guy Book Club, a global network of men’s book clubs focused on mental health and building meaningful connections. We caught up with Shay to find out what he’s been reading and who he’d invite to dinner.
What are you reading right now, and why?
My current reading stack contains Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan, which the Tough Guy Book Club (TGBC) just finished, and Good Material by Dolly Alderton, which we are reading this month.
As well as The Uncontrollability of the World by Hartmut Rosa, Prisms of the People by Elizabeth McKenna, Hahrie Han and Michelle Oyakawa, and Making Monsters by David Livingstone Smith.
What were your favourite books as a child?
The first time I remember loving a story was when my grandmother was reading Treasure Island to me. I have so few things from when I was young, but I still have that old brown faux leather illustrated copy sitting in my stacks, just in case I need to flip over this desk and head off to start a life of crime at sea.
Which three books would you recommend to a friend?
Any friend of mine has already been recommended more than three books by me, but I generally recommend The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway, Cannery Row by John Steinbeck and Home by Toni Morrison. Oh, and Humankind by Rutger Bregman, because if someone is my friend, I can recommend four.
If you were hosting a dinner party, who are six authors (living or dead) you’d invite and why?
Terry Pratchett because I want to laugh about our hypocrisy and pretence.
Toni Morrison because I want to chat about how stories, from trashy TV to opera, make us.
John Steinbeck because I want to discuss what’s best about people.
William Gibson because I want to talk about our humanity in the face of potentially terrible futures. James Baldwin because I want to talk about love, freedom and justice.
And I wouldn’t invite Ernest Hemingway because he’s a scumbag who would ruin the party, but I’d go out drinking with him after everyone else has gone home. Because that’s the kind of person you have wild nights with.
You founded the Tough Guy Book Club in 2012 – what prompted it, and what were your aims?
I started Tough Guy Book Club because I was very unhappy with how my life was going. I was this horrible, lonely guy who drank too much and worked all the time. I knew things were wrong but I wasn’t sure how to fix it. But stories had taught me that you solve problems with a group of people on your side. So I started asking men like me about their lives, and started to see a pattern. We didn’t have enough friends, our conversations were shallow or boring, and most of us hadn’t read a good book since high school. What happens if you make a book club for the kind of men who don’t feel invited to book clubs and build it around the goals of getting them to read more, talk more and have more friends? You get Tough Guy Book Club, this crew of pirates putting rowdy book chats back in the pub.
Why did you choose the name, the Tough Guy Book Club, and the pub as your venue?
Well, the name came about because I was trying to find something that said we are different from other book clubs, something a guy who listens to metal would come to. But when I started saying ‘Tough Guy Book Club’, people would laugh, like I was making a joke. I found it interesting that toughness and reading were seen as so far apart that it seemed funny. When did they become opposites? And how did we decide that, because I didn’t get a vote. Do you think you can’t be tough and like books? I’ve met guys who’ve never read a book, and they don’t seem so tough in many situations. Which raises the real question: what is tough? I’ve been told my whole life I’m supposed to be it, but no-one seems to have a clear idea what it means. That sounds like something men should discuss.
The pub was easy, it’s where we already were. We didn’t move book clubs to pubs; our guys and I were in pubs, and we started book clubs.
What have been some of the most popular books in recent years?
The Knockout Artist by Harry Crews, Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson, Cherrywood by Jock Serong and, completely out of left field, our most popular book of the last couple of years was Still Life by Sarah Winman. What a book!
Looking back at what you’ve achieved, how do you feel about it all?
Well firstly, it is important to know that I haven’t achieved anything alone. WE have achieved a lot. I’m nothing without our 360 volunteers who actually run it, because Tough Guy Book Club isn’t a person; it’s a club, and we have done every bit of it together. How I feel individually is honoured that this gang of incredible men took a chance on a guy like me to lead something as remarkable as our club, and an enormous sense of responsibility to live up to that.
You have a monthly task, the TGBC Monthly Challenge. What is this?
Life is a collection of stories. You, your friends and your community are all built around the stories that define them. One of the impressive things about most men is that you can drop five of them in a field and tell them to cut down a tree, and whether they have cut the tree down or not, they will come back as a group, potentially even friends. Because they are now the group of men who stood in the field in the rain trying to cut down a 15-metre pine with only shovels. Which is a good story.
This month’s TGBC Challenge wasn’t to cut down a tree; it was to plant one where you aren’t allowed. What stories will that create? And what will those stories make? •
BIO:
Shay is a social activist, community organiser and creator of Tough Guy Book Club. He has been working for 25 years to build stronger communities by using collaborative strategy, difficult conversations and leadership development. His work involves the use of personal narrative and community organising frameworks to rebuild the civic network and address issues of men’s mental health, literacy, and loneliness. Shay is currently a Teaching Fellow for Professor Marshall Ganz at the Centre for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government and Politics, working to teach others how to use their stories to help build power in their communities and make the changes they need in the world.
Follow Shay Leighton on Instagram here.
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