JANE GILMORE is a writer, feminist, PhD candidate and former journalist.

In her latest book It takes a Village to Teach Your Children About Consent, she uses both research, interviews and anecdotes to break down the complicated question of consent.

From discussions about sex and gender, to relationships in the online world, this book has answers. Good Reading caught up with Jane to ask more about her inspirations and writing process.

MEET JANE GILMORE

What inspired you to write the book?

I delivered a few consent programs in schools just after the Covid lockdowns. No one was ok back then, but kids in Melbourne who had spent most of the last two years living in their online worlds were really struggling. Teachers and parents were telling me they were just lost, they didn’t know how to talk to children and teens, many of them were almost too scared to even try because they didn’t know what to say. I wanted to write something that would help all those adults (parents of course, but extended family and friends are so important and are often forgotten in these conversations) so they could help their kids stay safe.

What kind of research did you conduct whilst writing the book?

I’ve been writing about sexual violence for almost 20 years, so I had a good head start. Also, I’ve just started a PhD on preventing sexual violence so the research has been even more concentrated this year. I also spent months interviewing teachers, parents, children and teens about what they need and how they feel about the consent education provided by schools. Those conversations were just incredible. People were so willing to open up and be unbelievably vulnerable and they did it because they wanted to be sure I understood what they were going through and could use it to help other people. It was an amazing experience and I will always be grateful to all of them for their courage and humour.

What were the most surprising things you learnt whilst writing the book?

I wasn’t expecting to teens, especially older teens, to still be so dependent on their parents and families. Like many people, I was fooled by the narrative that today’s teens spend so much time online that their physical world people have no influence on them anymore. Some teens might try a bit of bravado along those lines, but you don’t have to scratch that surface too deep to discover how much they still want and need their families and some adult guidance. It really clarified for me that we (the village) need to step up for all our kids. They can’t do it on their own and they don’t want to, they want us to help.

What was the hardest chapter to write?

They were all difficult in their own way – writing is hard! The shame chapter was difficult because the connection between feeling deep shame and committing violence is not easy to explain. I wanted the book to be easy to read and not too off-with-the-academic-fairies theoretical. Getting that balance right was tricky.

Some of the chapters about the online world were difficult because it’s all changing so quickly that anything too detailed or specific would be out of date before the book was published. Online safety is mostly about making sure kids know how to find help even if they feel like they’ve done something wrong and keeping the adults in their physical world adults close to their online world. There’s no one click solution unfortunately.

What was the easiest chapter to write?

Probably the chapter on porn, but that’s mostly because I’ve been researching porn and it’s effect on children and teens it for so long that I didn’t have to learn a whole lot of new stuff to write it. I don’t think it will be the easiest chapter for parents to read though!

When writing the book, who is the audience you had in mind?

Parents were the primary audience I wrote it for but the concept of the village raising our children is central to the book and I really hope the audience goes further than parents. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, teachers, coaches, all those other adults in our kids’ lives are so, so important to keeping kids safe. If I can reach that audience, I’d be thrilled.

Why do you think this book is so important to publish now?

The online world is changing so quickly, parents and families are feeling really left behind. Also, with consent and respectful relationships education mandatory in all schools now, there’s so much going on for children and teens that their adults never experienced. This can make the gap between kids and adults feel like an impossible chasm. It’s not and the things that have always mattered – talking, affection, advice, respect – still matter but parents and families need some support to see how that works in really unfamiliar circumstances. I hope this book can give some of that support.

What are the key things you hope readers come away with after reading your book?

That they can make a difference in their kids’ lives. That they are not powerless in the face of what looks like omnipotent influences from the online world. That they can change how teachers and school leaders respond and the lessons their kids learn at school.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jane Gilmore is an author, feminist and ex-journalist from Melbourne, Australia. She has a Master of Journalism from the University of Melbourne and is an award-winning journalist who has been commissioned by The Age, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Guardian, The Saturday Paper, Crikey, Meanjin, and the ABC among others.

She is a skilled keynote speaker and has extensive experience in providing engaging and expert commentary for radio, televisions, conferences, and writer’s festivals. Her areas of proficiency are gender based violence and gender myths, media representation of women, and reporting on domestic and sexual violence

Her book, Fairy Tale Princesses Will Kill Your Children was published in 2023 and her most recent book, It Takes A Village To Teach Your Children About Consent was published in 2025.